Meet Your Inner Masculine
About a year ago I had a very life changing experience. A very strong felt sense, a presence descended upon me. It was a divine masculine energy which I called a template that came into my consciousness. I felt ‘him’ so completely. The word that stood out indelibly was unflappable. His stability and strength was absolutely SOLID. And it felt so good to my system. I have never met a man quite like this. Coming to know him in my inner experience has made an indelible changed within me. And I continue to follow the thread of impact this meeting has brought to me.
I have spend this past year getting to know him. Within some time I have realized that this is my own inner Divine masculine finally coming home to live within me. He is teaching me, changing me, and I work with him to cultivate my new skills while he guides me. It’s been truly life changing for my confidence, ability to face conflicts, and step more fully into taking my life seriously. I have learned to step out of relationships that were not balanced since he entered the scene. I have gained focus, strength, and clarity in my boundaries and self-loving choices. I now know that I can accomplish far more than I ever thought previously, regardless of whether I had a partner or not.
We are taught as women to search to find our knight in shining armor who will provide, protect, even save us. To be alluring to him and attract him. I certainly never learned directly about developing my own inner masculine/king/lover/father archetypes. In many ways I felt I was actually encouraged to do the opposite, in staying co-dependent because that is what those before me have done.
Carl Jung spoke of the woman’s Animus, her internal masculine, and the male equivalent in the Anima, his inner feminine. We begin to develop our Animus as women watching our fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, teachers, neighbors. This is how we learn about the masculine in early life. These imprints set our templates. How our father treats us, our mothers, siblings teach us about the masculine, within and without. How he approaches money, work, routine are internalized subconsciously by us. We will develop our inclinations and attractions romantically based off these cues we absorb.
If we see men disempowered, shamed, collapsed emotionally or physically this is what we will expect from the masculine. We actualize in our unique ways based on our karma. How our mothers respond to such men will often lead us in the opposite direction with a pendulum swing. It surprises me to think how seldomly we step back and look at the big picture of our lives and the impressions we took on from these early experiences. It colors in the challenges we experience in the patterns of our relationships. We wonder why we cannot succeed in relationship, and yet we often were modeled a version that only ends in disappointment.
Making these patterns conscious can allow us to chose a healthier path that serves us. The blind spots can be many. I have found that the priority is our relationship with our own inner masculine traits and habits. As a woman how am I with honoring and knowing my limits and boundaries? How comfortable am I with routine, planning, timing, and responsibility? Am I reliable, clear in my communication, trust worthy? What is my relationship with money, career, and being seen and heard? Do I have a healthy, balanced, and loving relationship marriage with my inner masculine and feminine?
Hint: Having such an inner marriage allows us to succeed in the healthy inner family, with our inner children feelings loved, supported, and protected. The solution requires consciousness, curiosity, presence, and patience.
This aspect is central and foundational to the work I offer my clients. An awareness of this yin and yang within each of us. This balanced dance allows us to harmonize our own life first and foremost. Its from this more balanced inner marriage that we can be far more successful in the relationships we nurture with all those around us, and therefore contribute to the collective healing needed on this planet.
If you don’ t yet have a concept of an inner masculine I encourage you to begin a dialogue. Envision a loving, supportive, and wise being. What qualities do you see? Trust what comes to mind first. You might see him. What does he look like? What is the look in his eyes like when you make contact with him? What does it feel like in your body to be in his presence? Let yourself soak that in. Get used to his presence. Perhaps there is something you would like to ask of him. Maybe there is some advice you could use from him. Ask yourself how you could use support in your life at this time. Again. Trust yourself in the answer that comes to mind first from him. If writing is easier for you you can dialogue in writing, trusting what comes through the pen. Share with him vulnerably, openly. Allow yourself to receive conditional love from him.
This is one of many ways to work with your inner masculine, whether you are a man or woman. We all have this relationship. The more you nurture this relationship the more you will feel the gift of it in your life. I wish you healing within and without.